


Gag Order

by lodessa



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Endgame fix, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fanwank, Fix-It, Secret Relationship, Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-30
Updated: 2016-03-15
Packaged: 2018-04-12 00:44:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4458812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lodessa/pseuds/lodessa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No secret can last forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Any more coffee?" the waitress asked, coming round to check on their progress with dessert. Janeway got her mouth halfway open, before Chakotay reached over to place his hand above her cup.

"You are never going to get to sleep tonight if you have what... a sixth cup?" he told her, and Tom prepared for her to tell him how much coffee she chose to drink was her own damned business and he should stay out of it.

Instead, he watched her lace her fingers with him and guide them from the coffee cup to rest against her thigh. He risked a quick glance to B'Elanna beside him, as if to say _Can you believe this?_ but she didn't seem to have even noticed, instead appearing completely preoccupied with her banana flambe. Tom tried to do the same; after all, this would hardly be the first time his former command team demonstrated the kind of comfortable physical intimacy which always stirred bets in his ongoing pool. 

Then Janeway bit her lip and smirked crookedly as she replied to Chakotay's concern playfully, "Well, I guess you will just have to get creative in finding a way to help me solve that problem won't you? Unless you don't think you are up for the challenge." 

She winked and gestured for the waitress to refill her cup. Tom's mouth fell open, and he was shocked that no one else at the table seemed surprised. B'Elanna was still working on her dessert with a single minded focus, and he wondered whether she had completely missed the exchange. She must have. 

"I suppose I'd better have another cup as well," Chakotay ceded, with a dimpled grin but without the shock that Tom would have expected, "If I'm going to keep up with you."

"I guess you'd better."

Tom could have sworn that newly minted Admiral Kathryn Janeway giggled. He wasn't entirely sure though, since he was too busy trying to work out exactly the implications of what had just happened. He'd always assumed that this would happen someday, that Janeway and Chakotay would take their partnership in the obvious direction. He just didn't think that one day they'd barely be speaking, thanks to a futile foray into attempting to move on with Seven of Nine of all people on Chakotay's part, and the next they'd be casually referencing sharing a bed at dinner like it wasn't a big deal.

Still, B'Elanna didn't seem taken aback in the slightest.

"Well, we'd really better be getting back." he listened to his wife say, as if nothing out of the ordinary were going on, "Miral can get awfully cranky if we aren't home when she wakes up at about midnight."

"Of course." Janeway smiled, "Tell your parents we appreciate them babysitting, Tom. It's nice to finally share a meal with you two which wasn't replicated or a la Neelix."

"Not hankering for leeola root souffle, Kathryn?" Chakotay chuckled, and Tom watched Janeway run her fingers over Chakotay's shoulder and let them come to rest against the nape of his neck.

"No." she replied with her voice full of a sultriness that left no room for doubt as to her meaning, "That's definitely not what I'm hankering for."

"I guess I'd better get you home then." Chakotay beamed and Tom felt like he was intruding on a private moment, even though clearly the two were well aware that he was here.

He reminded himself that they weren't on duty now, not even in that way that officers so often are when their shift has ended but they are still aboard a starship. It occurred to him, that maybe he didn't know either of them quite as well as he'd thought. As they exited the restaurant into the soft cool air of the San Francisco night, Janeway and Chakotay heading one way and he and B'Elanna the opposite, Tom waited for B'Elanna to say something about what had just happened, but his wife was uncharacteristically quiet.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" he finally demanded, once they were well out of earshot.

“Something about what, Tom?” B’Elanna shrugged, as if there wasn’t an elephant in the room.

“You know what. Surely you weren’t so engrossed in your dessert that you completely missed that business with Janeway and Chakotay where they were talking about staying up and screwing all night.”

“I’d hardly call that business,” she teased, linking her hand with his and resting her head against his shoulder as they waited to cross the street.

“Forget the semantics. I can’t believe you, of all people, don’t think this is a big deal.”

“I never said that.”

“You didn’t even bat an eyelash.” Then suddenly it occurred to him: “Wait a minute… you already knew didn’t you?”

“After all these years with a pool on it, was it really that much of a shock?” 

B’Elanna pointedly ignored his question in her response as they reached the transporter station, forcing him to pause this personal conversation. The moment they materialized on the other side he continued though.

“Need I remind you of the events of the last year? The Seven of Nine mess…”

“My memory is fine, Tom,” B’Elanna almost laughed.

“But you aren’t the least bit surprised. Did Chakotay already tell you and if so why didn’t you say something?”

“You are right. I did already know. I just didn’t know they were ready to go public and…”

“And what? You didn’t think to mention it to me!” 

Tom forgot to lower his voice as they walked through the front door of his parents’ house.

“Don’t tell me that giving you a night off from parenting together ended in you two fighting, son.” 

Tom turned to find his father sitting in the living room with a stack of PADDs.

“We had a lovely night, Owen. Janeway wanted us to thank you for making it possible for us to come out tonight.” B’Elanna replied calmly, further raising Tom’s ire.

“And how are the happy couple?” Owen Paris smiled, and once again Tom found his jaw had dropped, “I haven’t had a chance to talk to her about anything personal since I let them use the vacation house almost a month ago.”

“YOU KNEW!?!” Tom couldn’t help the words flying out of his mouth. First his wife and then his father. It was too much.

“Tom, I’ve known Katie since she was not that much bigger than Miral is now. Of course I knew.”

“And neither of you thought to tell me,” he raged.

“You are terrible at keeping secrets...”

It was too much. He stormed out.

“Tom?” Harry looked half asleep and confused as he answered the door, “It’s after midnight… Did you and B’Elanna get in another fight? I thought you two were going out tonight.”

Tom watched his best friend blearily try to decide whether he should be sympathetic or tell Tom to go to hell and return to bed.

“We DID go to dinner, only apparently B’Elanna forgot to mention that it was actually a double date as opposed to whatever all those dinners back on Voyager we used to have with Janeway and Chakotay were-” he paused abruptly, realizing he’d just proved B’Elanna’s point with his lack of silence, “Oh shit. Please don’t say anything…”

Harry laughed, “It’s fine, Tom. I already knew.”

“You DID?” 

Seriously Tom was beginning to wonder if he was the last person in the quadrant to find out. Then he remembered he was supposed to be mad at Harry for keeping this from him. Honestly, he was more perplexed now than anything else.

“What I can’t understand is why none of you said anything… that pool is giant by now.”

“Some things are more important,” Harry said simply and with conviction, sounding nothing like the gullible young ensign he’d rescued from the Ferengi bartender back on DS9 all those years ago.

“I’m sure sure what we should even do with the pot now. Do we have everyone record the date when they found out or-”

“We give it to them” Harry suggested firmly, “After all, I’m sure we’d all like to express our gratitude.”

“Like a gift,” Tom had to admit it was a good idea.

“Maybe a trip.”

“We could send them to Risa,” he suggested only to be faced with Harry’s incredulity, “Fine. Not Risa but somewhere nice.”

“I’m sure B’Elanna will have some ideas.”

“Oh right… B’Elanna.”

“How angry was she?” Harry asked sympathetically, knowing full well the potential level rage of his half Klingon wife.

“Actually I was the one who was more upset this time. I think she thought it was funny.”

“I’ll bet she did,” Harry laughed.

“You are right, though. I’d better go back unless I want to sleep on the couch.”

He found B’Elanna in bed, nursing Miral while reading.

“Did Harry manage to calm you down?” she asked, looking up from her PADD.

“More or less. He says we should use the betting pool pot to send them on a trip,” he replied, starting to undress.

“That’s a nice idea,” B’Elanna smiled, “They’ve certainly earned a vacation.”

“So…” he couldn’t help asking, “Just how long HAVE you known?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> B'Elanna confronts Chakotay on the eve of their return to the Alpha Quadrant.

Striding through his office doors, B’Elanna couldn’t hold her tongue for a moment more. This had gone on long enough, too long in fact. 

"Chakotay, this Seven of Nine business..." she started, unable to contain her frustration any longer. 

"Is none of yours," he snapped, suddenly on the defensive.

His shoulders tightened and he clenched the padd he was holding tightly. It was clear to her that he knew he was in the wrong here and that was why he was reacting so brusquely. Otherwise he would have been calm, well reasoned, accepting. All those qualities she and everyone else on this ship had come to associate with him. No. The only reason for him to try to silence her was because he knew was she was going to say and that she was right.

"It's not fair of you," she continued, undeterred, "Not to you. Not to Seven. Not to the Captain."

Someone had to say it, and if not her than who? The person closest to Chakotay, the person most likely to call him on it when he was being foolish, well she could hardly say anything under the circumstances… not being the woman she was. It was too patently ridiculous, too absurd and unreasonable and plain stupid for B’Elanna to stay quiet and watch her friend, a man she generally respected, make a fool of himself and two normally very smart women. 

"Why should it have anything to do with the Captain?" he evaded.

"It has everything to do with her and you know it," she retorted, "I don't know exactly what you think this is going to accomplish, pushing her, spurring her to action, but I'd never met anyone more pigheadedly stubborn than you... until I met Captain Janeway."

"B'Elanna-" he attempted to interrupt her but she wasn’t having it. He needed to hear this.

"No. As your friend I have to say something. You shut up and listen. Whatever you think you accomplishing here, Chakotay, you are just going to drive both of you to double down on this cold war you have going. And mostly it sickens me that you'd use Seven in a pawn in whatever it is you think you are up to. It isn't like you..."

"I'm not-" he tried to protest, standing and turning away.

"The hell you aren't,” she cut him off without hesitation, “Even a blind person could see that since you first boarded this ship you've only ever had eyes for Janeway and I'm not blind. Don't insult my intelligence."

If he really thought he was fooling anyone, perhaps he needed to have the Doctor check him for brain damage. Come to think of it, that might be the most reasonable explanation she’d been able to come up with for his recent behavior. Otherwise she was seriously considering whacking him repeatedly upside the head until he did, the stubborn ass.

"It's not what you think."

Chakotay sighed, ruffling his hair and looking slightly lost. There was a time when that sight might have evoked a different feeling in her, but right now it just came off as ridiculous.

"Oh really?" she laughed in disbelief, "Then what is it?"

Chakotay groaned, "Kathryn is going to kill me for telling you."

Telling her what? It did not elude B’Elanna that he’d used her first name rather than saying “the Captain” or continuing to deny that Janeway was involved in this mess. She couldn’t hide the shock and confusion from her face at the warm soft sound of the Captain’s name coming from Chakotay’s mouth. From his response, B’Elanna suspected understood the situation even less than she’d thought. 

Chakotay paused, taking a deep breath before continuing as she stood there in stunned silence.

"It is a ruse, B'Elanna, but not the way you think."

"Are you telling me the Captain is in on this?" she asked in disbelief. She could not believe their honorable captain would ever condone playing with someone’s emotions like that, let alone Seven of Nine, who she was fiercely protective of.

"I'm telling you they both are," Chakotay corrected.

"Wait... what?"

B’Elanna tried in vain to formulate some sort of explanation for what he was saying. What could possibly be the benefit to it?

"Like you said, my feelings for Kathryn are painfully obvious, but in terms of dealing with Starfleet when we get back it's not exactly ideal, especially since..." he trailed off, having said enough.

Her jaw dropped. Literally. Her mouth stayed hanging open for a good moment as she tried to process this new information, before she finally smiled and let out a low whistle.

"Well I'll be damned. The two of you really have been going at-"

"B'elanna..." his voice had a warning tone to it, telling her that if she kept going he was liable to use some Maquis style discipline to shut her up.

"But Seven?" she remembered to insist, pressing the advantage of having broken down his pretense in order to get to the truth. She still couldn’t see either Chakotay or Janeway using Seven of Nine for their convenience that way, not after all the work Janeway had done to try and help her reclaim her humanity. It didn’t make sense.

"Needs to appear as human as possible to those who will have doubts about a former borg drone and the kind of access she has."

Chakotay didn’t seem thrilled about the setup but, once he said it, B’Elanna had to admit that there was a certain kind of logic to the idea.

"So... you pretend to be in a relationship with Seven, distracting people from the fact that you and the Captain have becomes... well close,” she euphemised with as much tact was she could muster, “And humanizing Seven in the process. I have to say that's devious."

"This old dog's still got a few tricks up his sleeve," Chakotay chuckled, looking relieved to have that secret out in the open, at least with her, "Though, of course, it wasn't my idea."

B’Elanna highly doubted it was Seven’s idea. She tended to think in straight lines and this ploy was underhanded and convoluted as they came. Janeway then. It still came around to her willingness to use Seven as a pawn in this scheme. 

"But Seven, why wouldn't she just actually get involved in a relationship?” she had to enquire, “Surely she's never lacked for suitors."

That was putting it mildy. Most of the men on the ship and a number of the women would have been happy to be Seven’s “humanizing influence”.

"Ah yes. Well it appears that apparently well... Seven isn't particularly interested in the sort of intimacy usually involved in such an arrangement."

Chakotay looked away as he said it, tugging at his ear. B’Elanna could see he was uncomfortable discussing this at all with her.

"Interesting," B'Elanna couldn't really imagine it but to each their own she supposed.

Chakotay looked her right in the eye and told her firmly, "You can't tell Tom, you know.”

"He's my husband,” she protested, even though she knew he was right.

"He's a gossip and he has the worst poker face I've ever seen,” Chakotay said bluntly.

"I suppose,” she teased, “Not telling him does give me a chance to win the betting pool."

"That's still going on?!"

B’Elanna couldn’t quite tell whether Chakotay’s shock and outrage was feigned or real this time. Probably a little of both she supposed. Obviously the pool wasn’t exactly a secret, but she could understand why, given the current circumstances, they might have hoped they’d killed it.

"Always. Come on, Chakotay,” she shook her head, “Give the crew a little more credit for noticing things."

"Fine,” he huffed, but his whole demeanor was just so much more relaxed than when she’d come into the room that she knew he was happy to be able to talk to someone about the situation, “The arrangement is that Seven and I will have a theatrical break up during the course of our debriefings and Kathryn and I will publicly begin our relationship six months later."

"You'd better stick to that timeline..." B'Elanna warned, only half teasing.

"Not a day later. Believe me,” he crossed his hand over his heart to indicate sincerity, “It's going to require all of my restraint not to shout it from the rooftops before then."

B’Elanna couldn’t help smiling at his evident joy whenever he alluded to his secret understanding with Janeway. Although she’d known he harbored strong feelings for the captain, it was different to see him so content in the knowledge that those feelings were returned. Chakotay was good and strong and kind, but he had frequently clearly been unhappy and conflicted throughout the time she had known him.

“I’m glad at least you are aware that you are a lucky man,” she sighed, shaking her head.

“The luckiest,” Again, B’Elanna got the sense that he was eager to take advantage of the opportunity to tell someone about his happiness. “Never in a million years would I have thought…”

“You two are good for each other,” Now it was B’Elanna’s turn to shy away from being given too many details. She definitely did not need to know what the two of them were getting up to in private.

“That much is clear to everyone, including random aliens we meet in passing,” she reassured and teased at the same time.

“It is that obvious?” Chakotay smiled and colored, looking at the ground, evidently pleased. 

B’Elanna forgot she’d been angry with him when she entered the room, glad her friend and mentor was happy at last. She supposed she could indulge him a little. After all he’d had to keep quiet about his feelings all these years and now he had to not only continue to conceal them but pretend to feel for someone else. She was happy for him, and for the Captain. After all they’d sacrificed for the crew, they’d certainly earned some personal fulfillment.

“Very,” she laughed, “I’m glad the two of you figure it out. You both deserve to be happy.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seven of Nine gets a bit more than she bargained for when she goes to Captain Janeway for advice.

“Seven! Wait!”

She had an inexplicably strong urge to ignore Captain Janeway calling after her, before concluding that such an action would be inefficient, only serving to cause the captain to press harder.

Stopping to allow Janeway to catch up with her, Seven turned and observed her progress and appearance, still red faced and halfway through pulling back on her uniform jacket.

“I should not have entered unannounced,” she stated simply, “My apologies for the breach of protocol.”

“That isn’t…” the captain’s face turned an even more vibrant shade of scarlet, “I didn’t follow you out here to admonish you. It’s my ready room not my bedroom.”

“None the less, clearly I should not have presumed. I was having an emotional reaction and I must not have been thinking clearly.”

The truth was that the concern which she had intended to share with the captain was suddenly uncomfortable. 

“Seven…” Janeway lowered her voice, the hyper-coloring of her face fading, “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing which cannot wait,” Seven turned to walk away again, “I will leave to to resume your rendezvous with Commander Chakotay.”

“I insist” the captain’s hand clapped over her shoulder, keeping her from retreating, “If not now then over dinner tonight.”

Seven had long ago learned to recognize the signs when Captain Janeway, like the Borg, would prove to prove futile to resist. This was evidently one of those occasions.

“Dinner would be acceptable,” she nodded briskly.

“Seventeen hundred hours in my quarters then, if you are sure it will wait until then.”

Seven considered in the turbolift on her way back to astrometrics that perhaps she ought to have consulted Tuvok rather than the captain. Still, how could she have known that she would find the captain and first officer in a rather involved embrace during the middle of a duty shift? 

For that matter, how was she supposed to have realized that such an activity was going on at all between them, at any time? When she had once posited the existence of such a relationship based on available evidence, everyone present had summarily dismissed her analysis. 

Once again, Seven felt irritation with the indirectness and complicated nature of the interpersonal interactions that the rest of Voyager’s crew seemed to partake in. It seemed she would never learn to “read people” as the Doctor called it.

That, she thought to herself, was the crux of the problem.

Of course, it would have been much simpler if the Doctor himself, had not made it impossible for her to consult him on this subject. However, Seven had resigned herself to the fact that, like everyone else on board, her other mentor was not as objective as she might have hoped.

“Seven,” Janeway seemed to have recovered herself in the time between their earlier conversation and dinner as they sat across the table from one another, “I wanted to apologize again about earlier. It’s very important that word of the personal nature of my relationship with Chakotay not get out, especially now that we are back in contact with Starfleet Command.

“For what reason? There is no prohibition regarding such a liaison in the database.”

Truly, Seven could not understand the need for secrecy, only that Janeway desired it. That much as evident, from the stiffness in her body and her elevated heart rate.

“It’s a bit more complicated than that,” Janeway sighed, “In the eyes of Starfleet, the position of the Commander and the rest of the former Maquis… is questionable at best. It is very likely that I will have to advocate aggressively for them if and when we get home.”

“And you believe that if they knew about your…” Seven considered what word would be least likely to upset the captain, “attachment, it would interfere with this objective?”

“Unfortunately,” Janeway stood up from the table, pacing, “I could easily be perceived as having my judgement compromised.”

Seven chose not to point out that the assessment might have some relevance. Although Janeway sometimes seemed to approach things in a puzzling manner, she had proved herself an efficient and capable leader many times.

“If you wish it to remain confidential, I will not speak of it, captain,” she replied instead.

Janeway exhaled slowly, letting her shoulders fall lower. Evidently, her words had been the ones the captain had been looking for.

“I appreciate it, Seven. I didn’t invite you here to try and wring a promise out of you, though. What did you want to talk about earlier? You mentioned being emotionally distressed.”

Seven considered telling Janeway it was resolved. It wasn’t though, and evidently she knew even less about personal relationships than she’d thought. The captain would, she knew, at least time to help her understand.

“I seem to be encountering the same interpersonal quandary repeatedly,” she began, “Every time I begin to believe I have begun a strong friendship, it turns out that what the person was seeking was not friendship.”

“People are misinterpreting your friendliness for romantic interest? Is that what you mean?”

“Or sexual,” Seven clarified, “And when I attempt to correct the mistake, they seem invariably to become hostile.”

It was getting to the point where Seven had considered giving up socialization, something that the captain seemed to think was important for her to engage with, and which she had grown to find rewarding… with the exception of the aspect she had brought up.

“Seven,” Janeway, turned around and placed her hand on Seven’s shoulder, in what Seven had come to recognize as one of her most common gestures indicating concern or support, “Other people’s desires regarding you are not your responsibility. If you aren’t interested in pursuing that kind of relationship with someone, no one should make you feel bad about that.”

Seven was cognizant that Janeway was trying to assist her, but her concerns were misguided.

“Captain, you misunderstand,” she explained, “I do not experience, as you seem to expect, guilt. I am merely trying to ascertain how I might avoid this situation in the future. I find it… inconvenient.”

“Have you tried being upfront when you are seeking strictly a platonic friendship?”

“Every time,” Seven tried to keep the frustration out of her voice, despite the obviousness of the question, “I do not understand why Lieutenant Castil attempted to initial sexual contact after lunch today, after I specifically told her last week that I was uninterested in such an arrangement.”

Seven could see the captain contemplating her words, “Seven, what did you say to her exactly?”

“I mentioned that Andrews down in Engineering had misinterpreted my interest in discussing nano-initializers for a desire to sleep with him and how I wished that everyone would stop doing so.”

The captain smiled, starting to laugh before she caught herself, “Seven, I believe that your latest suitor misread your disinterest in Andrews and a disinclination in men, not a hint that you weren’t looking to date her.”

“I do not want to… date anyone,” she emphasized, trying to ascertain how to make her meaning more clear to the captain. 

“If you don’t want to date right now or aren’t ready to have sex, Seven, there’s nothing wrong with that. Do try and be kind, though. One day you may find you are in their position, wanting someone you can’t have.”

“I will not,” Seven struggled, trying to make the captain understand, “I have engaged in those activities repeatedly and found them… an unsatisfactory use of time. I simply wish for a method of ensuring that in the future I do not have to keep spending my time resolving this issue.”

Realization finally dawned on the captain’s face.

“Oh,” she said quietly, eyes widening slightly, “That may be harder than you might think, Seven. When you do not openly have a partner, most people will assume that you are on the market for one.”

“That is unacceptable,” Seven was disappointed in Janeway’s lack of potential solutions, “Surely there must be another way to keep people from seeking an intimate partnership short of allowing one to do so.”

“Wait a minute…” Janeway had that look on her face which she always wore when she was excited about a new plan, “I may just have an idea.”

“Captain?”

“Hold on a minute, Seven. I need to talk to Chakotay. Chakotay,” the captain hit her comm link, “Please join me and Seven in my quarters.”

Chakotay? Seven could not determine what relevance he might have to her dilemma. When he arrived, Janeway dragged him into her bedroom, instructing Seven to wait, and proceeded to talk in hushed tones.

“Are you insane?” Chakotay’s voice emerged through the bulkhead, “You seriously expect me to…”

“Most men would be thrilled…”

“What the hell, Kathryn. If I didn’t know better I’d think…”

Seven wondered if she should depart, but the captain had asked her to wait, so she did. Eventually they both emerged, the commander looking much less pleased than the captain.

“Well Seven, I have a proposition which could solve two inconveniences in one stroke: my need for the relationship between myself and Chakotay not to be discovered and your desire not to be propositioned romantically or sexually.”

“How so, captain?” Seven felt her interest returning at the captain’s promise.

“Subterfuge. You two will pretend to have a romantic involvement, thus freeing us of suspicion and give you the illusion of being spoken for.”

Seven scanned the captain’s face and body language for signs that this was a jest, but found none. 

“I still don’t think that anyone is going to buy it, Kathryn,” Chakotay spoke up, “I’ve been too obviously in love with you all this time, and Seven is half my age and not short of more appropriate options.”

“You two will just have to practice then,” Janeway stated in a tone that brooked no argument, “I’ll program some holographic scenarios to help you both get more comfortable with the pretense.”

“What do you think, Seven?” Chakotay turned in her direction, evidently looking for support.

Seven considered all of the time she would save, all of the interactions she could have that were not ruined by the inevitable romantic overtures. She also considered how invested in this notion the captain seemed, and found she wanted to please her.

“I have no particular objections, if Captain Janeway believes it will make a difference.”

“Do this for me, Chakotay,” the captain squeezed his shoulder, “Do it for us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry about the long delay. Seven's POV always slows me down, so hopefully the rest of the chapters will be more forthcoming.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After yet another command team near death experience, the Doctor witnesses a change in Captain Janeway's usual bedside vigil.

“Doctor!” the captain called out, “Hurry!”

He had not even had a chance to respond yet, to the sound of the transporter depositing two lifeforms into sickbay: Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay. The captain was clutching his unconscious form tightly, her uniform as stained with his blood as his own. 

“Get out of the way and let me work,” he snapped, attempting to pry her away so that he could assess the damage.

She was unresponsive, refusing to let go.

“Captain,” he repeated, more strongly, “I can’t help Commander Chakotay if you don’t let me do my job.”

He was just beginning to think he would be forced to sedate her, when his words finally seemed to register. Reluctantly she relinquished her hold and stepped back a few feet, staring dazedly.

“What the hell happened?” he asked, scanning Chakotay to catalogue his injuries.

Knowing the context of the damage might prove helpful, but he’d found that keeping a distraught observer busy often was useful in of itself. The captain was, generally, the worst kind of bedside diagnoser and it was ten times worse with this particular patient.

“Something that looked like a cross between a Terellian Tiger and an Andorian Blood Pig attacked us while I was taking soil samples. Chakotay threw himself right in the path of its tusks to protect me. We just barely made it out of there.”

He’d have to check for infection and any contaminants or splinters of foreign matter in the wounds. Animal inflicted injuries tended to be messy.

“There’s a lot of internal bleeding,” the doctor stated aloud, knowing from past experience that if he didn’t narrate everything, the captain would only hound him for information when it came to her first officer, “I’m going to have to operate.”

“I’m not leaving,” she stated simply.

“If you want to stay in my sickbay, you will go put on something not covered in blood and who knows what else,” he insisted, as he erected a bio-containment field, not even bothering to try and convince her to leave on a more permanent basis.

“I’ll replicate something and change in your office,” she conceded, still not taking her eyes off Chakotay.

“It’s not good, but he should make a full recovery if you stop bothering me and let me work,” he added for her benefit, knowing that the longer he took to make a diagnosis the more on edge she would become and the more she would nag.

The captain was protective of all of her crew members, worrying over them like a mother hen when they were wounded or ill, but with the first officer it was another matter. The Doctor had long since stopped trying to treat her like anything other than a distraught family member when it came to Chakotay.

He dreaded the day he might have to give her bad news on that front. The captain’s stress level and refusal to take care of herself was already a cause for concern, and if something permanent were to happen to the one person who managed to pressure her into something resembling relaxation… the results could not be good.

He was glad today was not that day, but if they kept taking needless risks like this it seemed inevitable that one day it would be. Soil samples! There was clearly no need for the captain and first officer to beam down alone to an unfamiliar planet over something like that. He could not imagine what had possessed them.

By the time she emerged in a clean uniform, he had already repaired most of the damage, though the Commander would need to remain in sickbay overnight to recover from the trauma and ensure that there weren’t any injuries he hadn’t caught or secondary infections.

“Let’s check you for cuts or anything else that might become infected,” he insisted, ignoring her eye rolling, “Unless you want to become patient zero for some alien fungal infection that is. In which case, by all means refuse treatment.”

“I’m fine, Doctor,” she insisted, and other than some slight scratches and a minor abrasions she was. His tricorder wasn’t picking up any signs of antibodies whatsoever.

“Was that so hard?” he snipped, as he finished running the dermal regenerator over the damaged tissue.

“Now can you tell me how Chakotay is doing?” she sighed, as though receiving basic first aid were somehow a burden on her. 

“I’m ready to bring him back into consciousness now,” he informed her, as she resumed her vigil, “Please try not to tire him out too much.”

He was very proud of himself for not saying anything further, such as that he presence here was unnecessary and detrimental to rest and she would be better served checking in on the bridge of any of the other various departments and perhaps letting Tuvok get a break, as he applied the hypo to Chakotay’s neck and stepped back to observe the results.

“Kathryn…” Chakotay smiled weakly, the anesthesia still wearing off.

“You had me worried there,” Janeway smiled back at him, pressing her hand against his chest as she knelt over the biobed, continuing the same script the Doctor had witnessed dozens of times before between the two of them.

It might as well be a holonovel script loop, he scoffed to himself.

“Afraid you were going to have to start reviewing your own departmental reports?” Chakotay teased softly, grinning up at her.

She shook her head softly and cupped the side of his face, gently tracing the shape of his tattoo across the side of his forehead. It was a rather intimate gesture, more so than she usually indulged in, and caught the Doctor by surprise.

“The Commander needs rest,” the Doctor interrupted, recognizing the pause in their ritual and not interested in witnessing the extended version.

“I’m not leaving, doctor,” Janeway insisted predictably.

“Of course not,” he sighed, less annoyed than he let on at this point. He’d long since given up resisting this sentimental quirk of hers. It simply wasn’t worth the energy expenditure, “I don’t suppose there is any use in telling you to let him sleep in peace.”

“I’ll just stay here and review some reports,” she lied, but he did not bother to correct her. The captain only ever actually reviewed reports over Chakotay’s sickbed when he was laid up for multiple days on end.

“Should I leave the lights on, then?” he remarked, heading back towards his office.

“No, please dim them. The self illumination from the PADDs should be sufficient.”

The Doctor had reports of his own to write and review, and they took up the better part of three hours; when he finally thought to check in on his patient, it was late into the night. If anything had gone seriously wrong, he was sure to have heard about it from his overbearing commanding officer, the Doctor justified. 

Figuring that he might as well try and sneak in some routine booster hypos while she was here anyway (trying to get the woman to come in for her own health was like trying to tractor an M class planet with a type 2 shuttle) he headed out of his office only to be taken by surprise.. 

The Captain was not in her accustomed chair beside Chakotay. At first the Doctor thought she was gone, but then his gaze moved to the biobed, and he discovered the truth.

A some point in the night, she had apparently forsaken her vigil in the chair to crawl up against Chakotay, curling herself against his side, head nestled between his body and his arm. Chakotay, for his part, had wrapped one arm around her, keeping her from slipping off the side of the narrow bed. His face was buried in her hair and she was snuggled into his chest, both of them sleeping, breathing with a deep steady rhythm.

Well… at least she was sleeping for once. That was new and different.

Unable to keep from smiling knowingly (how many times had he heard the two of them deny any intimate relationship and yet here they were cuddled together like a pair of kittens… or perhaps a kitten and a much larger creature) the Doctor reasoned that there was no need to wake them and disturb the much needed rest for both… no matter how tempting it was to call them both on being caught red handed..

With a long suffering sigh, he retrieved a blanket to cover them. Shifting, Chakotay pulled Janeway closer, so that her head ended up resting against him, and she made a contented humming sort of sound.

“I’m not running a damned hotel,” the Doctor couldn’t resist muttering, as he retreated back to his office, but neither of the sleeping figures responded.

He felt good about his decision, until a few hours later, when in the early morning hours the sounds started to drift into his office.

“That was stupid you know,” Janeway’s voice murmured, “You could have been killed.”

“Better me than you,” Chakotay replied softly.

The Doctor rolled his eyes, even for a holonovel this would be hackneyed dialogue.

“You aren’t allowed to die,” she reprimanded, “That’s an order.”

Then there was the distinct sound of lips meeting on another and a low moan that the Doctor was grateful he could not identify as male or female in origin.

So much for discretion he smirked, but then Janeway’s voice was a little more breathy as she whispered, “I just finally started getting to enjoy those extraordinary lips of yours not that long ago and I’m nowhere near ready to give them up.”

Honestly, had they forgotten he was there? Typical!

“I’m not going anywhere, Kathryn, not when I have you to live for.”

More kissing, louder moaning, the Doctor could not believe how brazen they were being, after the long history of secrecy regarding the nature of their relationship. He should stop them. Chakotay needed to rest and who knew who would wander into sickbay at any moment.

“Oh Chakotay…” the Captain groaned.

On second thought, the Doctor decided, he could simply deactivate himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only two more to go. I hope this one lives up to the others, even though it is a bit quieter.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tuvok notices a dramatic shift in energy between the command team.

It took every inch of his considerable self control not to flinch away as she reached out to reassuringly pat his hand. 

Tuvok did not need telepathy to sense the shift that had occurred between his command team. From the broad smile across the Captain’s face and the way she and Commander Chakotay had been stealing glances at one another on the bridge all morning, he knew that her thoughts were most certainly going to reflect that… with violent intensity.

He did not, however, wish to disturb or upset her, so he steeled himself for the tidal wave of images and emotions he knew would be coursing through her to him.

He was not mistaken.

As her fingers brushed his skin, Tuvok was flooded with some very graphic and intense memories of the night before and, he was relatively certain, this morning.

He tried not to react but his control must have failed him; because, she suddenly looked horrified and embarrassed, dropping her hand from his.

“Oh Tuvok… I didn’t think-” she exclaimed.

“It has not been difficult to determine that your mind has been elsewhere this morning, Captain,” he acknowledged, recognizing her unease but not quite prepared to combat it quite yet.

He was still struggling to free himself of the thoughts and emotional transference which had resulted from the brief touch of their hands. There had been such wild joy and raw emotion attached to the memories he had witnessed. Then, of course, there had been the wave of crippling shame as she had realized what she’d done.

“Oh what you must think of me,” she pressed her hand against her forehead.

“Captain, if I might speak freely,” he interjected, wishing to adjust the course of the conversation into a more productive direction as he recovered himself.

“It would be rather hypocritical of me if I said no now, wouldn’t it?” she replied with a raise of her eyebrows, evidently expecting censure from him.

Censure, however, was not what he had in mind. Whatever difficulties might arise from the commanding officers aboard Voyager being entangled, the Captain had clearly accepted Chakotay as her mate with an intensity that was unusual in a human, and Tuvok had long since had no doubts as to the Commander’s devotion to her. It would not do to treat either of them as wayward children.

“Captain,” he paused, choosing his words with the utmost of care, lest Captain Janeway misinterpret and overreact to his suggestion. Once she became defensive, it would be much more difficult and time intensive to reach her, “The mutual respect, admiration, and affection you share with Commander Chakotay is very strong. I have grown to respect the Commander and I have every confidence that the two of you will find an equilibrium. However, perhaps for the time being you and the ship might benefit from your taking some time off.”

Voyager would most certainly be better off without the interference of two distracted commanding officers as they navigated the start of an intimate relationship with one another. For any species, learning how to coexist in such a manner was a challenge, but humans were one of the species who seemed the most consumed by such concerns in the early stages of partnership which followed the initial act of mating.

“Tuvok, that’s not necessary...” she waved him off, standing and pacing to lean against the railing of her ready room.

He had anticipated her initial rebuff of the notion. She prided herself on her professionalism and work ethic, and doubtless perceived the suggestion as an affront to that identity.

“Perhaps you may wish to survey the nearby M class planetoid,” he continued from his position seating in front of her desk, in hopes that she might pick up the hint and save him from having to be more overt.

“The planetoid? Why?” 

She appeared genuinely confused by his mentioning of the planetoid, evidently not picking up on how carefully he had framed a pretense to allow them both to maintain dignity and discretion. For a generally observant person, in this instance the Captain’s cluelessness was seemingly genuine.

He made a second attempt.

“You might look for traces of rare mineral deposits and there are some ruins that you might tell the crew are of interest to Commander Chakotay.”

“You are sending us away together,” she recognized, eyes narrowing in suspicion as she seated herself back down across from him, “Tuvok... why?”

Apparently not. Direct it would have to be then.

“As you may well know, on Vulcan when one takes a mate it is traditional for both parties spend a full month in seclusion together. That time allows the individuals to adjust to their bond.”

It was a most sensible practice, one that Vulcans were far from the only society to have adopted. Surely she must see the logic of it. In truth, Tuvok was surprised that Janeway was resisting him on this point. He had rather expected she would be pleased by the idea, especially given her evident concern that he might not approve of her changed relationship with Chakotay.

“Tuvok. The Captain and the First Officer can’t just take a month…” she continued to insist, refusing to accept the offer gracefully.

He had constructed this plan earlier in the day, before he had concrete confirmation but under reasonable suspicion regarding the shift which had taken place. He was prepared for her objections.

“No. You cannot,” he conceded, “However there is no reason you cannot utilize the week we will be spending nearby in trade negotiations.”

“You aren’t going to let this go. Are you?” she sighed, shaking her head.

“I am not,” he confirmed.

She laughed, becoming more receptive and relaxed, “I guess the only thing to do now is to say thank you, isn’t it?”

“Indeed.”

“Well then thank you, Tuvok,” she smiled broadly, reaching out towards him for another one of her tactile gestures of friendship, before pulling her hand back... evidently recalling suddenly how this conversation had been initiated in the first place.

He nodded, rising to depart, “I will make the necessary arrangement, and Kathryn, as your friend let me be the first to congratulate you. I am aware that the past years have been difficult for you emotionally.”

For any human to bear the solitude that Kathryn Janeway had imposed upon herself all this time must have been difficult. In truth, Tuvok had found his own thoughts turning to his family more often than he might perhaps wish to admit and, without Vulcan discipline, the Captain would have had little to no defenses again the feelings of loss and loneliness which her situation must have provoked.

“Thank you, Tuvok. Thank you for being my friend,” she said simply but earnestly, meeting his eyes with her own.

Although, he was relieved not to be subjected to another dose of her emotions and sensory experiences, Tuvok approved of the comfort she had found in Commander Chakotay over the years. In him she had clearly found the emotional support and connection which all humans craved, and evidently now that connection had taken on additional dimensions of fulfillment. 

“Of course,” he paused, wishing to convey the sincerity of his support, “When you return, if at any point you should wish to formalize the nature of your alliance, I will be at your disposal.”

Captain Kathryn Janeway was, today, satisfied and complete in a way he had not seen her in a very long time, perhaps ever. It did not take telepathic insight to observe the change. She was, to put it simply, happy.

In spite of himself, Tuvok was touched by the joy of his good friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry Kim overhears more than he means to during a shuttle flight back to Voyager with his commanding officers.

It had been a long couple of days on Kintara Three, so when Captain Janeway smiled sympathetically in response to his yawn and told him, “Ensign, go ahead and get some sleep. Commander Chakotay and I can handle the Delta Flyer on our own for the trip back,” Harry was too grateful to protest.

What he did not expect was to be awoken by the sound of argument. The sound of heeled boots hitting metal heavily, startled him into consciousness, causing him to smack his head on the metal frame holding up the bunk above him.

“So just what are you trying to say, Commander,” the Captain’s voice cut through the bulkhead sharply, “That I made Earth girls look easy down there?”

The reference to Tom’s latest vintage movie night feature could have been humorous, but there was nothing light or fun about the way she said the words. _What could Chakotay have possibly said to trigger such malice?_ Harry had to wonder.

“That is a vast misinterpretation of my words,” Chakotay’s voice was softer, lower, but none the less agitated. Without intending to, Harry found himself leaning out of the bunk and towards the bulkhead connecting the two rooms to hear better, as he strained to make out the Commander’s quieter words, “All I said is that you and the Chancellor looked very friendly.”

_Really? That was it?_

“It’s not what you said,” the Captain’s harsher tone and louder speech caused him to jump in surprise, smacking his head again and Harry had to bite down on the back of his hand to avoid crying out in pain, “It’s how you said it.”

She was not at all appeased; that much was clear. He was clearly missing something.

“And just how did I say it… Captain?”

Chakotay’s tone had turned now, taking on a brittle quality as he over enunciated her rank like a dirty word. 

“Like every word were a poisoned dagger.”

There was a pause, and Harry considered that maybe he ought to go out there and interrupt the tension. Hearing the two of them bickering like this made him feel uneasy, something akin to being on a planet with the wrong magnitude of gravitational force. He was halfway into the corridor when they resumed talking. 

“That was certainly not my intent,” Chakotay apologized with characteristic sincerity, and Harry thought the worst was probably past. She would teasingly chide him about not letting it happen again and he’d quip something playful back and when Harry walked in they’d be back to their usual selves.

However, her response was not to let it drop but instead to huff audibly and snap, “Well that’s certainly how it came across.”

“Then I apologize,” Chakotay sighed, “I can’t help that it bothers me, but I have no right to feel that way and I shouldn't have let it show.”

Harry got the distinct impression that there was a larger ongoing conversation this was part of and he had no idea about. 

He couldn’t resist the urge to get more information, even though a voice inside of him was screaming that he needed to go back to the bunks not further expose himself to discovery while eavesdropping. 

Peeking into the cockpit area, he could see both of them standing, leaning over the back of the piloting chairs as they stared in the general direction of the viewscreen.

He sighed in relief at the lucky break.

“Why?” Janeway demanded, turning her head to face Chakotay as she threw her hands up in the air, “Is it so unreasonable for me to relax for a night and enjoy someone’s interest… even if that’s all it will ever be?”

“It’s not wrong, Kathryn,” Chakotay stared fixedly at the floor, not meeting her eyes, his tone one that was half frustration and half resignation… like they’d had this conversation before, “It just chafes… That you can enjoy his attention and I can’t ever show the same-”

“Chakotay…”

The captain’s whole demeanor suddenly changed with the soft reassuring way she said his name, reaching a hand out to touch his shoulder gently, which he responded to by looking up into her eyes at last.

“It’s my problem and mine alone, but forgive me for the reaction.”

Chakotay’s shoulder’s slumped, the tense defensiveness evaporating from him completely. Harry had the distinct feeling that he should definitely not be witnessing this unguarded moment between his commanding officers, a feeling that was only strengthened with the captain’s next words.

“I didn’t realize you still felt that way.”

_That way._ Harry was sure exactly how Tom would take the statement, but he couldn’t be so sure. Surely, she didn’t mean...

“When I said always, I meant it, Kathryn. I’m sorry if that’s inconvenient for you but I can’t just turn off my feelings on a whim like you do apparently.”

The edge was creeping back into Chakotay’s voice as he spoke, emotion clearly expressed which made other interpretations increasingly implausible.

“That’s not fair,” she contested, placing her other hand on his opposite shoulder and leaning just a little closer to maintain eye contact, “You know it hasn’t been easy for me-”

This was absolutely not something he should be seeing. Harry considered trying to sneak away, but it seemed more likely that in trying he draw their attention with unintentional noise than that they would spontaneously look away from each other.

_Damnnit, Harry! Why couldn’t you just stay put?”_

“Do I?,” Chakotay shook his head in disbelief, “It’s not like you seem the slightest bit conflicted. Why would I assume anything else?”

“Like you could have noticed anything with the parade of barely dressed Kintaran women practically crawling into your lap,” Janeway muttered so quietly Harry almost couldn’t hear it, rolling her eyes and dropping her hands from Chakotay’s shoulders.

At least that was what Harry thought he heard, though it didn’t sound much like her. Chakotay seemed equally surprised, spending a good few moments scanning her face before saying anything in reply.

“What was that Kathryn?” Something resembling a smile started to ghost over Chakotay’s face, though he still looked a little incredulous as he commented, “Because I couldn’t quite hear, but it sounded an awful lot like what was it you said about my jealousy… poisoned daggers? ”

“It isn’t jealousy,” she snapped back, “Just an observation that I don’t know how you would even have noticed how I might have felt, considering how occupied you’ve been this whole trip. You were awfully busy having that buxom high priestess bat her eyelashes and put her hands all over you tonight or when we went to the library with the-”

Maybe he had hit his head harder than he realized, Harry was forced to consider. This would make a whole lot more sense if it was a hallucination or a dream. Surely the two of them weren’t really talking about… this!

“The poor librarian you tongue lashed into oblivion for a simple misunderstanding regarding what you were after and I had to smooth things over with as a result?”

“Maybe if she’d been paying attention to her job instead of attempting to display her breasts as close to your face as she could contrive to-”

“Spirits, you really were jealous, weren’t you, Kathryn? That’s why you were so rude.”

Chakotay really was smiling now, as he reached out to take one of her hands in both of his.

“I was not rude,” Janeway insisted but she didn’t pull her hand away, “I don’t let my personal feelings control my actions. I can’t afford to.”

“Would it kill you to admit it, even just this once?” Chakotay’s smile faded with another long sigh, as he pressed her hand to his heart, “That it does bother you when women flirt with me, that it does affect your behavior, even if every time we get close you pull away.”

“Forget I said anything,” Janeway turned her face to look away from Chakotay, yanking her hand back, and Harry had to duck quickly back into the corridor to avoid potentially being caught.

“Would it help if I caved first?” Chakotay offered sounding utterly sincere, “Told you that I have no idea what the neckline of that woman’s dress was like; because, when you are in the room there might as well not be any other women in the universe.”

Harry choked on the mundane recycled air. He would never have thought Chakotay would dare. Then again, he was forced to admit, he wouldn’t have anticipated a lot of things either of them had said just now.

“Chakotay…”

His name was an entreaty but she stopped short of any actual request.

“If I felt differently maybe I could enjoy the knowledge that it bothers you,” Chakotay’s voice was a plea and a dare in one, “Is that what I’m supposed to do in your mind? Play the game? Realize and then intentionally do my best to aggravate you by flirting ridiculously? Dare you to say something… do something?”

“You’ll wake Harry…” she evaded, and for a moment he wondered if he’d been caught, if this whole thing was a prank of some sort.

It was only for a moment.

“That’s not an answer,” Chakotay sounded suddenly tired, “You never ever answer.”

“I thought you understood,” Janeway sighed audibly.

“Just like I thought you knew what I meant with that always?” Chakotay suggested, “I know I’ve always been proud of how well the two of us communicate without explicitly stating things, but perhaps that has its limits.”

There was a drawn out pause where Harry thought that might be the end of it, before the captain spoke.

“I can’t deny we are both evidently distraught,” she conceded.

“The idea that I’ve upset you, it bothers me more than my original jealousy did, Kathryn.”

There was something in the way that Chakotay said the captain’s name, like it was so much more than just a name, as though it were a word with a specific and nuanced meaning.

“Chakotay… Nothing has changed.”

“Maybe that’s just the point,” he paused, “Did you ever stop to consider that? This isn’t a reaction to a near death situation, or being stranded on a planet together, or a temporary infatuation. The years should have killed, have faded, have eaten away at the truth we’ve been silent on...”

“Instead, it’s become ingrained,” she finished, “Carved into who we are.”

Harry found himself paralyzed, unable to move from his spot pressed against the wall of the corridor as he overhood words that he was certainly not meant to. 

“I’m better for it,” Chakotay said quietly, “So don’t ask me to regret it.”

“You are right, Chakotay,” she said with sudden calm, “Continuing to ignore the elephant in the room is not a viable option.”

“Kathryn?”

It was more a request than a question the way that Chakotay said it, and Harry found he couldn’t doubt the specific import any longer.

“I wanted to throttle them both,” she said clearly.

“Huh?”

Harry was as perplexed at the declaration as Chakotay sounded for a moment, until Janeway clarified, “The priestess and the librarian, looking at you, touching you. I fantasized vividly about squeezing their lavender little necks until they crumpled to the ground.”

“You’re admitting you were jealous?” 

He could barely make out Chakotay’s hopeful whisper.

“Hideously,” she laughed with a sound of pure mirth.

“Because of me?” 

The shock was evident in his voice.

“And you only,” she reiterated, “Chakotay, the most thrilling part of when someone like the Chancellor pays attention to me is when I look across the room; because, the intensity of your stare draws my attention. I look across the room and I see you there staring and it makes me feel alive.”

“It does?”

“Murder isn’t the only thing I fantasize about, you know,” she added huskily, voice full of suggestion Harry didn’t want to think about the implications of.

“Oh?”

Neither spoke again for a moment, piquing Harry’s curiosity. What was going on? Where they just going to sit there in silence? Harry knew he shouldn’t have been listening, but curiosity continued to get the better of him. 

There was a sort of wet smacking sound and still no more words and Harry risked peeking around the corner for a moment.

He shouldn’t have, so he had only himself to blame for the tableau of the way the captain’s hands were holding either side of Chakotay’s face as it was pulled down towards hers. He was pretty sure he’d never be able to get that image of their open mouthed kissing out of his mind, or the way Chakotay’s hands encircled her waist, reminding him just how small she was.

Retreating backwards out of line of sight, Harry didn’t want to consider which of his commanding officers was more likely to have made the low moaning sound or the probable reason for the thump of someone running up against a bulkhead panel.

At least it probably covered the sound of him racing back into the bunks and digging around in the first aid kit for a sedative, stabbing himself vigorously with the hypo.

“We should slow down... no privacy.”

He tried to tell himself he was imagining the stream of sounds coming through. There were some things that were beyond even his wildest curiosity. 

“Don’t care… Don’t stop.”

The seconds waiting for the sedative to kick in seemed to stretch eternally. Why did he have to be the one stuck on this stupid shuttle at this particular moment?

That had to be the captain. Harry wished he could stop his brain from processing that information about the sounds coming from the cockpit but it was impossible.

The floor was cold. That was the next thing he could remember thinking.

“Nice nap, Harry?”

He blinked, opening his eyes to find Janeway staring down at him.

“Are we back already?” 

He rubbed his eyes, trying to act as normally as possible. 

In his rush he’d forgotten to lie down in a bunk before giving himself the sedative and he’d apparently collapsed against the unforgiving grate which was the floor. His neck hurt.

“Just about,” she nodded, casting a poignant glance at the hypo injector which had fallen beside him.

“I’ll just… get things cleaned up then,” he stammered, stumbling to his feet.

“You do that,” the captain grinned, turning to head back towards the cockpit, “Oh and Ensign,” she added, pausing in the doorway, “Not a word to anyone… ever.”

“Captain?”

How did she know? This was bad. This was very very bad. Why had his commanding officers decided upon that moment to bring things into the open between them? Why couldn’t he just have slept through it?

He was cursed. That was all there was to it. First he was stranded on the opposite side of the galaxy on his first mission out. He’d never had any luck when it came to anything, women related or otherwise, and now he had unwittingly seen and heard things he shouldn't have. Seriously, why did these things always happen to him?

“If I so much as suspect someone,” Janeway paused to smile in a way that was somehow more terrifying than even one of her famous death glares, “Such as say Mr. Paris, heard any sort of story about anything that might have been discussed on this flight… You’ll wish you were in the Gamma Quadrant. Do I make myself clear?”

“Crystal clear, ma’am,” he slipped up, “I mean… Captain.”

She laughed, strangely relaxed despite her threat. She seemed lighter than she had in years.

“Pull yourself together, Mr. Kim,” she advised, before walking away.

He was not entirely sure he was ever going to manage that feat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you have all enjoyed this little fix. Thank you to both my husband and to Talsi for talking me through this final chapter.

**Author's Note:**

> This is an Endgame fix/fanwank; although, it is written in reverse so it will take a chapter or two to get to that bit.


End file.
